Wednesday, January 6, 2016

New Momness, Amazing. New Dreams...Not So Much


*Picture is totally unrelated to the story, but can we celebrate that she neither pooped or peed on me this bathtime?! :) 

Okay, so when I was pregnant I would occasionally have dreams that we had the baby. Those dreams were good, they were exciting and fun. One would think that, since she is finally here, I would be having happy dreams about family adventures and whatnot. Well, it's not happening. 

Instead, I wake up in bed during the nights with these horrible feelings that I fell asleep with our little girl. That she's laying in between us, under all of our covers...suffocating. It's absolutely the worst feeling and it happens about every other night. 

What makes it worse is my stinking teddy bear that I always sleep with...when I wake up in the middle of the night, you have no idea how much that teddy bear feels like a newborn baby when you're half asleep.

Then last night I had a dream that my old babysitter took me, Adalynn and a bunch of my friends (as adults, yes...dreams are weird) to Applebees. After paying the bill, I took a little bit more time to get all my stuff around then everyone else- purse, diaper bag, baby, doggy bag, etc. - so they said they'd meet us at the car. 

I'm walking out of the restaurant and I realize, I don't have the car seat or the baby. I run back in to our table and she's nowhere to be found. No one in the restaurant has seen her, no one can find her and we realize that as I was getting my stuff around, another diner in the restaurant grabbed her car seat and snuck out. 

I had let my little girl get kidnapped. 

You know how sometimes in your dream you realize that it's just that, a dream? Well of course for this one I didn't, it went on and on and on and I only snapped out of it when I woke up because she was crying. 

It was horrible! 

So now I'm just thinking can I get a good dream or something? Like, how about we all go to Disney World in a few years, or camping, or hiking or we fly on a damn unicorn over a rainbow...something that doesn't involve me either suffocating our child or getting her kidnapped. Is that too much to ask?! 

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